Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I've got a feeling...

I think it's called fury?

All right, it has dissipated somewhat since the other night and actually, I'm not nearly as mad as poor Sparta was, knowing he had to get up for work in a few hours and listening to this plus many other instances of our next door neighbour being particularly obnoxious and boorish the other night.

We would just have managed to drift off to sleep when he would come back outside to yell choice phrases like "We can't do it that weekend, that's your bachelor party, BITCH!"

At one point, I'm pretty sure he was setting up beer cans and throwing things at them so that they clattered to the pavement ever so soothingly.

I've gotten used to the charming renditions of Nickleback songs this guy spews into the silent night air every so often, and frankly, I'm usually just happy not to be witnessing a screaming match between he and his wife. Before 11pm, I actually find his singing hilarious. At 3:00 am? Not so much. But for Sparta this is all new. And he is not impressed.

Fortunately as the hours ticked by, punctuated by this guy's shrieks, profanities and occasional retching outside our bedroom window, Sparta managed to keep from leaping outside and whacking the fellow into silence with his own beer bottle.

So now the question is, how do we deal with this if it keeps happening? Go outside and confront the guy? He is really not a friendly sort, despite his carefree serenading. I've actually nearly reported a domestic disturbance at his place more than once after hearing him bellowing at his wife.

Write him a note?

"Dear ridiculous neighbour,
Do you know you're being a jackass? Check yes/no.
Also, stop it.
Your sleep-deprived nexties."

Or do we call up the closest law enforcement types and make a formal complaint and let them act as mediators in the hopes of keeping things anonymous and avoiding confrontation with this guy?

Maybe we're better off just giving him some singing lessons and a book of lullabies.

* the sound bite above was actually taped earlier in the day, so you have to imagine that but with no cars or birds in the background and after several more alcoholic beverages.

** If you listen carefully, at the end you can hear him spit! Delightful!


Leanne said...

Oh he sounds lovely. *shudder*

If you don't feel comfortable confronting him, or asking him to keep it down at night (I'd ask earlier in the day before additional alcoholic beverages have been consumed, I'd call the cops.

Stuart A. Thompson said...

What I'd do is probably be very passive aggressive for a while then one night at the peak of his loudness yell out the window "Shut up!" or a more profane variation, then go to sleep and forget it happened, especially if I see him later.

Mari said...

I would just let the police deal with it. He sounds unbalanced, to say the least, and that, combined with alcohol, just has "bad scene" written all over it.

Leslie said...

He's definitely a fruaker! (my word verification).....and may be related to the delightful characters in our vicinity. Given the lateness of the year (it's almost time to close the windows) I definitely wouldn't toy with this puppy. Mari's right, he's nuts and that makes him really unpredictable.

Anonymous said...

Aside from his beautiful singing voice, he does sound like a pain.

The pacifist response would be to get earplugs and maybe write a strongly-worded letter.

Alternatively, you could break into his house and loosen the nails on the guard-rail to his balcony so that his next serenading session is done whilst descending vertically at high speed.

Ear-plugs or the note are probably the best way to proceed on this one though.


Sarah said...

Elle Bee: I know eh, a prince to be sure.

Stu: I did talk Sparta out of doing exactly that. I was thinking we should just go outside and out-loud him.

Mari: Yeah, I'm thinking keeping direct contact of any kind with this guy to a minimum is the way to go.

Leslie: Frauker, hmm? I like it.

Oh Lurks, all good plans do start with a break-in. I'm calling you for bail money.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha, I cannot believe you recorded it. I never would have that of that.

I say you notify police and let them handle it. Why bother dealing with the personal confrontation when the police are in place for such situations (not only those, of course...)?

Anonymous said...

Holy guacamole babe. I'd really just call the local non-emergency line. Chances are you know when it's going to get bad, so call earlier in the evening when they're starting to get drunk - by the time the police get around to it, they'll be drunk. What a pain. I had to do this once, and made a point of going INTO the police station to make a complaint. Otherwise, they sometimes come to talk to you.. then wander over to your neighbours. Thanks for keeping it on the DL guys.... *laugh* xo

Anonymous said...


I thought this was a joke at first. Truely. Write the letter. Just like that.

Write it, send it, never regret it.

steph anne said...

I'm going through a similar situation right now with our neighbors about their dogs that won't shut up! It's illegal to leave dogs outside for a long time in the dry heat (Arizona). We (actually my husband) confronted him and he gave an attitude and now I'm afraid he's going to kill us in our sleep some day soon, haha.

If it continues I'd call the non-emergency line which is what we're going to do if the barking continues.

Mr. Apron said...

I'm always a fan of involving law enforcement.

And then you can crouch down below your window-sill and videotape that!

Maybe they'd TAZER him!

(Cops use TAZERS in Canada, right?)

Anonymous said...

Oh my. I would go INSANE. My downstairs neighbor plays her music pretty loud during the day, but is quiet at night so I can't complain. And when we lived in the downstairs apartment, the people upstairs had two kids that were ALWAYS screaming/throwing stuff/crying and THAT drove me nuts. Now we have the crying kid (4 months though, slightly more understandable than 1 and 2 year olds).

I would report it, because there are laws against noise like that.

Anonymous said...

...or maybe talk to your landlord?