Sparta!!!!!

This weekend, the boyfriend and I were both looking forward to a relaxing and uneventful weekend (read: fairly boring). Unfortunately, our weekends live 7 hours apart from one another.

However, while mine remained as uneventful as planned. His, not so much. He called to chat yesterday and I asked him what he had gotten up to. He said he'd had a pretty low-key Sunday. Then he got around to explaining his Saturday.

"Oh actually, I did get a call from this woman I know for some last-minute work on Saturday."

The fact that he was not immediately immediately forthcoming with the details was red flag number one.

"That's great! What did you do?"

"Oh, I just worked a trade show that was in town."

"Like, you just worked retail for the day?"

"No...no I just sort of, walked the show...

"?"

"wearing a silly costume..."

"What kind of silly costume? What are you talking about?"

"...A Spartan costume."

"So by trade show, you mean?"

"...Sexapalooza"

That's correct. While I sat at home in the middle of a constant rural snowstorm all weekend like a sucker (a bored sucker, with pocket lint), my boyfriend was wandering around tables of vibrators while dressed as a Spartan warrior.

I laughed for about half an hour.

In case you were wondering...

Muay thai-fighting, protein powder-eating, gym-going, car-punching, James Bond-loving, "I hate your girly CD and movie collection"-ing guys DO like pretty white cake with rainbow sprinkles on their birthday.



They also like puppies and the movie "Love Actually". Don't let any of them tell you otherwise.

The Grinch who stole my boyfriend

"I don't want to go."

"So stay," I mumbled, trying to unglue my eyelids and force him into agreement with my powers of hypnosis.

This proving impossible at 6:00 am on a Sunday after an evening of red wine, youtube karaoke, and the Grinch who stole Christmas, I settled for snuggling in closer to lure him back to sleep or at least steal some of his body heat.

As usual, my mediocre plan failed.

He might think I'm sweet, and beautiful, and fun. So much so that he'll not only watch The Little Mermaid with me, but he'll learn to play Under the Sea on guitar.

He'll make dinner while I'm at work, and he'll patiently tag along while I browse for the perfect vintage inspired cocktail dress (at least for a while...as long as he's been fed...and the store doesn't happen to be playing Jann Arden, but still!).

But the thing about being in a long-distance relationship with an actor is the second an audition comes up, he's gone. His first visit to my lonely little apartment since (Canadian) Thanksgiving is suddenly cut short a week early.

And I feel blue.

Hey la, hey la!

(Photo by Joel Bedford)

After a month where I saw him for a pathetic total of one day, le boyfriend is coming to stay with me for an undecided but certainly extended period of time! Now when I come home from work he'll be there doing my dishes and eating my crackers and taking up space on my couch when I watch Scrubs DVDs. I can't wait!

And no, he will not be allowed to drive my car (see photo).