Friday, January 16, 2009

Stairs: The new evil.

Today I feel like an old person.

It's not because I've grown so gosh-darn wise, or because without at LEAST 9 hours of sleep, I'm cranky. It's not even because I have some experience with lawn bowling. I feel old today, because yesterday, I fell down the stairs.

Interestingly, my boyfriend's reaction to this news had to do with my age as well. His immediate response was a very compassionate, "You fell down the stairs? What are you? 5?"

I know. His concern for my well-being brought a tear to my eye too.

In my defense, it's not like I fell down the stairs in my apartment, which would be much more impressive and terrifying as my staircase is rather windey. I just fell down the five steps on my front porch.

The ironic thing was, when I arrived home for lunch yesterday I finally made myself grab the shovel and clear them off a bit. Since it's been snowing nonstop here, I just haven't been able to summon up the will. "It's just going to be covered again in five minutes anyway, and what else are my giant winter boots for?" And the chances of someone else actually approaching my door in this weather are slim to nil.

But yesterday, I went ahead and did it anyway. After all, I thought, I'd feel bad if someone fell down these.

However, a word to the wise. If you shovel off your porch steps from above because you are too lazy and cold to walk down them before going inside to eat, you will essentially create a very, very smooth slide, perfect for tobogganing and/or accidentally slipping down in .0001 seconds the next time you attempt to walk down them.

I think the speed at which it happened would have made for some hilarious viewing. I'm sure it looked like I disappeared through a trap door in the porch.

For a minute I just sat there, bewildered, not unlike the baby sparrows who used to regularly fall out of their nest on my parents' front porch and lie there looking around until we found them and stuffed them back in there.
Then, after cautiously peering around for witnesses, I dragged my wet-pantsed self back to work.

And today, my whole body feels like it's about 100 years old.

Dear stairs,
I hate you.
Heart, Sarah


Mari said...

Aw, you poor baby. I hope your dignity and your tailbone are intact.

Elle Bee said...

Ouchie. Sadly, this is something I know from experience all too well.

So well, that I could feel the dread set in as soon as I saw the mere title of this blog.

The best consolation I can offer is that you're not alone.

Kyla Bea said...

Oh that's the worst kind of hurt, because you feel dumb too. =/

Feel better! Soaking in a hot bath will help you get through this. Hope your weekend is spent on more solid ground!

Sarah said...

Mari: Aw, thanks. Both my tailbone and dignity are recovering nicely.

Ms. Bee: You know, that actually is comforting. You should have seen me spring back up, like "What? Nothing to see here!"

Ms. Bea: Have no fear. I have so far managed to come up with several projects which should keep me safely indoors with my heating pad for at least 48 hours.

Karie said...

Awe, I hope you're ok. Sounds painful. I have to admit though, I kinda wish I could have seen it. I hope you don't hold that against me.

Sarah said...

haha. Karie I don't hold that against you at all, believe me. I kind of wish I could have seen it myself. If anyone had been around I'm sure they would have cracked up.

j.wi said...

oh no!! i definitely fell on the ice last week when i was walking my dog. we all do it from time to time. at least you didn't fall down the stairs in a public place.

Anonymous said...

So strange.. everyone is falling down the stairs lately. Mayhap a conspiracy? So my stylish, well written, fashionable blogger friend.. you feel like doing a Sunday Kind of Love for me?

M said...

Be careful with your small self!!

Anonymous said...

Hahah, oh sweetheart. Stairs are the devil.

"I'm sure it looked like I disappeared through a trap door in the porch."

This reminded me of the time that I fell through my parents deck. My dad was re-doing it, and I had just thrown a carrot out the window to my bunny in the backyard. )Bunny didn't get carrot, Sarah opened back door to run out and hand carrot to Bunny.) One step out the door and BAM, I fell straight through the beams of the deck into the basement doorwell.. Landed in a bin of basketballs and such. At least it was a nice break to my fall?

LipstickOne said... is quite